The Epiphany~

I glanced up when the bell announced my first customer. Christ on a cracker, it would have to be him—I just can’t catch a friggin’ break. I tried smiling, but it wasn’t going to happen—the miserable old bastard didn’t deserve the attempt. Still, the owner of the store pounded into my head that all customers were to be greeted regardless of their shitty dispositions.

“Good morning, Mr. Ellsworth.”

“Says who, girlie, you? Your blatherings are wasted on me, so just take my order. I want six ounces of Black Jack, six ounces of Trapper’s and half a dozen of them bear claws. They better be fresher than last week’s bunch. I won’t make the mistake of buying them later in the day. Never thought Mrs. Maitland would have the balls to put out day old crap and for the price! Just proves people will do anything to make a buck these days.”

He glared at me. I glared back.

“Is that all?”

“Of course, that’s all! Do you think I’m made of money? And don’t take all day about it either, girlie. Be careful while you’re at it. Never known a female to be so damn ham-fisted.”

It required endless buckets of self-control to refrain from bouncing the heavy steel tea scoop off the nasty old goat’s skull. By the grace of whatever god was the rage these days, I managed to harness my instinct to maim, and filled his order—like I did every friggin’ Friday these past months.

“Don’t think you can short me like you did last week, girlie. I bet you thought I hadn’t noticed, but I did. Not much gets by me. You damn kids aren’t as smart as you think you are.”

I sucked in my cheeks and counted to seven. Did nothing give the guy pleasure? Anyone with a heart would cut a sob-story a bit of slack, but by most villager’s accounts, Mr. Ellsworth was a miserable human being from the moment he formed words.

“Quit day-dreaming and get to it, girlie.”

What is his deal today? Jesus.

Normally, a couple rude comments meant to end someone’s good day proved enough to satisfy his hateful nature. However, today’s bitter criticism went far beyond his usual contempt for humanity, and every Friday it worsened. The old vulgarian derived true enjoyment from inflicting verbal abuse on people. I wished I could cork his mouth for good.

Just then a thought popped up. An epiphany, more like, enabling me to see a clear way forward. Euphoric, I reached for a jar hidden beneath the counter, and while he launched into another scathing diatribe about women in the workplace, I slipped a teaspoon of the fine, dusty powder into a cup of tea. I handed him the drink.

“Care to try a complimentary sample of our newest flavor–Just Desserts?”

steam tea
photo credit: photobucket

He accepted the offering, cast a suspicious glare at the contents, and then stuck his hawkish nose so far into the cup, I thought he might snort the contents.

He beetled his brows and glanced up.  “Bout time I get something for free ‘round here.”

He blew and sipped at the tea not stopping until he slurped up the dregs. A low gurgle broke the silence. Startled, he stared at me. I stared back. He began to speak, but no words formed. He lurched forward mouth agape and eyes wild. The cup dropped from his fingers and bounced before rolling beneath the cabinet. He grabbed at his chest, and the smell of skin a-sizzle laced the air. Moments later a heavy fog enveloped the old man and he disappeared.

I flapped a towel to help dissipate the fog then leaned over the counter and peered at the floor. A pile of clothes lay in a heap where the old bastard once stood. After a tick, they too dissolved revealing a gray, grizzled cockroach.

Hmm, fitting.

My boss poked her head out from behind the office door, looked around and made her way over to me.

“I thought I heard Mr. Ellsworth’s voice earlier. I assume Mr. Wonderful left?”

“Yep, you just missed him.”

“How was he today?”

“He seemed a bit…bugged.”

The cockroach scurried toward the door catching the boss’s eye.


“Oh, ick!”

photo credit: photobucket

She exclaimed stomping down on the roach with a size eleven foot.

“Where there’s one there’s hundreds more. Looks like we’ll have to get the fumigators in.”

“Yup, looks like.”

The Selkie

 A moonlit night by the sea;

              a bereft lover weeps for thee.
Grieving the loss of Selkie’s embrace;
 tears of sorrow dampen her face.
 woman 1
                                                                                  Unfettered Selkie drifts with the tide;
             his repose disturbed by a wretched cry.
         He floats ashore and sheds his skin;
      transformed into a man again.
selkie 2 (1)
         To bind the Selkie by her side;
his seal-pelt she steals and hides.
Never to frolick unfettered and free
forever a man deprived of the sea.
by: Deanie Roman
selkie 1
photo credits: photobucket

Dream Walkers: A Warning…


There is a place between the waking world, and the dream world, which has no documented name. When a sleeping person arrives in this odd place they feel as if they are floating through an ocean of stars.

sky (1)
Can you see the Dream Walker?

Every star symbolizes the dream(s) of people in their sleep state. Here, Dream-Walkers search and sift through the dreams of those who are most vulnerable. But for what purpose? A Dream-Walker hopes to communicate with others in their dreams for the purpose of controlling the dreamers waking state, thereby changing the Tel’aran’rhiod, or, Wheel of Time. Tonight, beware the Dream Walker as you drift into slumber.


Plum Tree Tavern

Please click on the link below and enjoy my latest!

Cherry Blossoms by Megs

photo credit: Meghan M Campbell

Shirotori Shrine & Tenjinyama Jo Castle*

~Please click on the link below and enjoy the adventure with special guest; Blanca the Chihuahua/Maltese mix!

Japan Treasure Hunters

So, last weekend, I climbed 1100 feet up the side of treacherous mountain to nose around a 15th century castle and do some metal detecting. The JTH video makes the climb look easy, but believe me, if not for a few trees dotting the trail, fallen logs and footholds, there wouldn’t have been much to grip on to hiking the treacherous vertical climb. For my metal detecting efforts, I dug up one nail and pull tab respectively—still, it wasn’t about the metal detecting for me.  It was more about the reward at hike’s end. The mountaintop was beautiful and so breezy! We heard all sorts of bird song; came across a couple wicked looking spiders, and listened to monkeys calling back and forth from across the ridge. Once we were at the bottom again (much easier on the way down!) I rousted the gods at the Shirotori shrine and said a prayer—a fitting end to a wonderful day with good friends. 

name: Tenjinyama castle (Tenjinyama-jo)
place: Tado Wake town, Okayama
structure: Mountain Castle
built: 15th century
remnants: moats & clay walls
Tenjinyama castle spreads across a long ridge northwest from the peak of Tenjinyama mountain, and alongside Yoshiigawa river in the east part of Okayama prefecture. This ridge is over 1650 feet long and sandwiched by sheer cliffs.


*JTH video is the sole property of Jon Lucas


The Magic Continues…

Twenty-nine years and still having fun!

Happy Anniversary to my Sweetie~

april 22 2018

Tachikawa, Tokyo, Japan

The Black Hills of South Dakota

I wrote this poem when I lived in the black hills of southwestern South Dakota, but it’s an homage to my time in North Dakota, too. ‘Great Plains Beauty’ is featured in the international on-line magazine, NatureWriting.

Please click on the above link and enjoy.  : )

purple coneflower
purple coneflowers

It’s a Spring Thing~

Spring . . .

Renewal, rebirth,

 Abundant, fragrant, blossoms


Photo(s) credit: Deanie Roman


Fav Famous Quotes


Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my
fish-burger and I realize…Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner!
Lynda Montgomery
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Emo Phillips
May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can’t find you with a telescope.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Billy Sunday
Couch potatoes take heart: You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.
There is no distinctly American criminal class – except Congress.
Mark Twain
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven’t seen the joke yet.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Robert Bloch
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Jack Nicholson
Italian Alzheimer’s: you forget everything except the vendettas.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep–not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
Bob Monkhouse
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Mark Russell
The age of a woman doesn’t mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West
I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.
The only mystery in life is why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Al McGuire
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
If at first you don’t succeed . . . so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Flip Wilson
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller 
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing everyday.
A.A. Milne
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
-Kurt Vonnegut
A clear conscious is usually the sign of a bad memory.
-Steven Wright

Throwback Thursday!

originally posted: 30 Jan 2014

My 40-something self, who has been driving since 1982, was only allowed to get a driver’s permit today. Yes, an effing permit. Having just arrived from Germany with an expired US license, I discovered that fabulous news when I applied to the North Dakota DMV. Lucky for me, since I’m over fifteen, I can forgo the need for another adult driver to accompany me. Oh, and I have six months to get the road test done. Yes, a GD road test–unbelievable. I did happen to mention to DMV personnel that if I could drive by myself for six months why do I have to take a road test? If I hadn’t careened off the road in a fiery crash by then, I should be considered good on all the traffic laws, right? Blank stares all around.

Briefly, I dredged up memories of me at fifteen tooling around in a crap brown Driver’s Ed station wagon; Thing 1 & 2 moaning in the back seat while I ferried around the jerk-of-a-football-coach/driving instructor (from a rival school no less) who decided he may as well get his errands done while he “taught” us to drive.

Uhm, coach L.? I still can’t parallel park!sw

The idea of taking the d*mn road test irked me more than the written. I never had a crash (on record) never had points taken off my license, never had a speeding ticket (talked my way out of a few) and maintained a clean driving record while licensed in Michigan, Florida, North Dakota (stationed at another AFB years earlier), Nevada, South Dakota and California not to mention being tested and licensed in England and Germany. None of it matters.

nd hwy Apparently, with all the oil people stampeding across North Dakota in recent years, they’re not taking any chances, so I’m forced to fall in line and prove myself competent enough to drive their hallowed roadways. I protested and whined a bit more just to annoy the lady who looked like she wanted to stab me in the neck with a ‘North Dakota the Peace Garden State’ pen, and then sat down to take the test. Since it was a computer program I knew immediately if any answers were wrong–none at that point …and then my screen froze.

Oh eff me.

I wait it out hoping the problem self-corrects. It doesn’t. I stand up, go to the door and, *GASP* knock on the window to get someone’s attention. Once he finishes glaring at me with gross indignation the test proctor hustles me back into the test area. Proctor’s lips are pursed in disgust. The jerk thinks I’m exaggerating because I’m getting a lecture telling me this has never happened. To anyone. Ever. After five minutes blinking at the same driving scenario and multiple choice question, he declares that there is, “indeed a problem.” When jabbing his spindly fingers at the keyboard and switching the PC on and off doesn’t work, it takes another five minutes before he realizes standing there and scratching his dandruff won’t fix things either.


Eventually, he assures me I could continue the test where I had left off, using another computer. Unfortunately, the program dumped my results and now he tells me I have to restart the test. Despite having completely different questions and scenarios, I passed. I get my permit, but before I leave, I have to make an appt for the road test. I tell the pen lady that I shouldn’t have to come back to take the road test on pain alone, or at least a discount was in order for holding me hostage all afternoon in a poorly ventilated room that smelled like teen angst. I could tell my comment was not appreciated. Humor is so lost on these people.

*a note: I posted a Throwback Thursday a few months back and was kindly informed through emails that I had posted on a Wednesday. Just a reminder that I live in Japan, and my Thursday is your Wednesday.
Thanks, Deanie 😉
photo credits: photobucket

“I’m in a glass case of emotion!”

A few thoughts today…

Inside every snarky b*tch is a pleasant woman who just got fed up with the bull-sh*t.

When people ask how well my writing is going, somedays I think to myself, “If I was a bird, I’d fly into a jet engine.”

Self-absorbed a-holes must have been put on the earth to test our anger management skills.

photo credit: photobucket

Everyday I try to be a positive person, and today I’m positive everyone is losing it.

I tend to be more accommodating when there are witnesses.

On the surface I may appear calm, but inside I’m rehearsing my alibi.

photo credit: photobucket

“Flavorful” is the favorite adjective of people on ‘Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. Most likely these people need a map to their own kitchens.

“There are no stupid questions.” Are we sure about this?

Please don’t make me explain what you won’t understand.

Another day gone, and I didn’t use Algebra.

photo credit: photobucket

If sarcasm was a language, I’d be fluent.

If only common sense was more common.




Italian proverb: “A ogni uccello il suo nido è bello”

Amen to that!

photo credit: photobucket

Post title quote credit:   Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Oh The Life of a Dog!

Can’t say I’ve ever been this relaxed.

Well, maybe when I’m drunk.

Free Ballin
Bear (my Pembroke Welsh Corgi) enjoying nap time.
Deanie Roman

Born to Write


A picture tells a thousand stories!

Ben's Bitter Blog

"We make bitter better."

Stair na hÉireann/History of Ireland

Irish History, Culture, Heritage, Language, Mythology


spare the crazy vocabulary, speak from your heart

Melinda Foshat

Poetry, Prose, Photography

Natalie Breuer

Natalie. Writer. Photographer. Etc.

Walking with Aki

Exploring land recently released by ice (geologically speaking)

A wee anthology of dark yarns.

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